I’m grateful to have a beautiful contribution from Holly Williams, who has worked alongside Mom Talbert in ministry here in Alberta for many years. Here is her tribute to Debbie Talbert:
If I said I haven’t wrestled with the Lord over Debbie’s trial, then I would be lying. I think we have all experienced grief from various causes and in various forms over the past 2 years. The more grief that comes, the more it can leave you feeling numb and can lead to breaking down about it. I’ve experienced an unusual amount of grief in the recent years and reacted in all the above ways.
My friend Debbie is in her final days after a valiant fight with cancer. I’ve questioned, “Why Debbie? … Why a loving mother and grandma (who finally has all she calls children and grands near)? Why a faithfully mentoring, counseling and discipling pastor’s wife, and a supportive friend?” But like the book of Ecclesiastes, I come back to this: God is in Heaven and I’m on the earth, so let my words be few. God has taken some stellar servants lately and people I would much rather run this race with me, yet would I want to keep them from finishing their race? Of course not, I can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy, but ultimately happiness that they get to be with Jesus and finish their earthly race well.
Debbie’s last big public event was attending the ladies retreat I hosted in the spring. She had just found out she had cancer. She pushed herself to attend little pieces. She pushed herself to the stage to be part of my panel and share her wisdom and insight with all who would attend. I didn’t push her; she pushed herself. I sat right by Debbie as moderator for the panel, and I had a hard time sitting by her. Not that I didn’t want to sit there by her, but I just wanted to weep for my dear friend. I knew deep down this was going to be a last, and I didn’t like it one bit.
Over the years, we understood each other, and maybe I wouldn’t even develop the full sentence out of my mouth before the knowing shake of her head would come. I can hear her say now with the compassionate cock of her head, “I understand Holly,” or “I know Holly…” She helped me gain perspective, and I helped her gain perspective on different things too as she shared with me how a conversation helped her. A true iron-sharpening-iron friendship.
I’m sad that I’m losing someone who prays for me. If you have people in your life who truly pray for you, then you know what a treasure that is.
Debbie is an encourager. I remember after a particularly hard time in my life, she and Laura showed up at my door with her beautiful homemade cards to use and a flowering plant. We had not a long, but a meaningful conversation. Just that they understood and cared meant so much.
One time Laura and Debbie took me for some pampering—this wasn’t the first time. Years previously Debbie had taken me for a pedicure. I think that is the only person who had ever done that for me; she obviously taught her daughters, too, about being giving and kind. We then enjoyed a meal at their favorite quaint French restaurant and had special conversation. It’s one of those days that will forever be imbedded in my mind.
Debbie and I always seem to laugh about something when we are together. It’s hard not to laugh about something in a Talbert’s presence. They take life seriously, but not themselves too seriously.
We have enjoyed traveling to Alberta ministry meetings together. It was always special to have that time to discuss ministry, life, and family.
In 2012 we had the amazing privilege to go to Jordan and Israel together with a group that Bud led. We had so much fun seeing all the sights. I remember getting blown away up top of Masada with her, worshipping with her as Bud led on the top of Mt. Nebo, and taking communion at the Garden Tomb. Debbie also has a feisty side. She enjoys photography, and I remember her disappointment in not being allowed to take pictures in a certain location and of an artifact she really wanted a picture of. We discussed if it was because of the flash, which she had off, so could we be really sure no pictures allowed? There may or may not be a distanced, blurry, snuck picture in a photo book she gave me. I thought for sure she was going to get our group kicked out. We giggled over that incident like school girls passing notes. That trip was a trip of a lifetime for both of us. How many more stories could be shared.
Debbie also played a special role in the birth of our daughter Karissa. She had told me I could call her when baby was coming and she would stay with the boys. It was the day my mother-in-law was to arrive. I had had so many Braxton Hicks contractions for weeks that I was certainly in denial that I was in real labor. I told her she “may” be needed that day, and when I told this mother of 5 more details, she said she would be right over! Good thing, because Karissa was born within short order of going to the hospital. I may have had her at home had it not been for Debbie’s proactiveness. She is Purple Grandma as people lovingly call her and stayed with my boys until their Granna arrived.
That’s just how Debbie is, blessing others. Even in these past years, as her health has declined and energy wasn’t what it once was, she didn’t make that an excuse to stop ministering when her body couldn’t handle much outside the house activity. She kept a weekly counseling and mentoring by phone ministry to ladies in her church until she couldn’t anymore. She made her cards to be a gospel light of thanks to those she did interact with in her small community. I’ve studied Titus 2 this fall and winter, and I can truly say that she lived out that calling with her life. She is that godly example of an “older woman” who is committed to befriending and teaching/training the younger women in her life. She lives out the gospel like Titus 2 lays out.
Debbie loves her husband. A conversation with her rarely, if never, ended with her mentioning how I could pray for Bud. She worries about him, and frets over him like good wives do. Her desire is for him to be fruitful in all the ministry he does and be supported in his work and not burnt out. I know she is so pleased that a lovely family came and chose to stay to partner with leading the Bible College.
Debbie loves her children and their spouses and children. She is proud of them. She would update me on what everyone was up to. She was concerned about Dave and Desiree in the place they served during COVID, and is so thankful to have them now in Canada, to see them once again and to love on her grandchildren.
Debbie faced disappointments over COVID boarder shut down and canceled travel plans. Once they were able to travel again, they planned a wonderful sabbatical that was to take place within weeks of her being diagnosed with cancer. They never got their trip. She had me pray about these trips, and I know how much she didn’t want anything to get in the way. It felt unfair to me. So close, yet what an awful “consolation prize” of dealing with a failed surgery and unsuccessful cancer treatment. My ways, if I could choose for this sweet dear lady, certainly would not have been God’s ways. How can we understand God’s ways? Is God good even when our world falls apart and everything goes awry? I haven’t heard Debbie complain about her lot in life. I’m sure she faced much disappointment and discouragement. I know she likely has wrestled with God’s plan, but yet she has sweetly submitted to God’s plan. Several weeks ago I met with her, and she didn’t replay all the “bad” in her life—she replayed how God has been faithful and good yesterday, precancer, pre-COVID, and decades ago. How she has grown, developed, and changed over the years to hopefully look more like Christ. And I say, “Yes, Debbie, you look like Christ to me!”
Debbie isn’t perfect, there was a time that a conversation was a bit sharp and hurtful. She sensed that she had approached the subject not as carefully as she should, which I would say was uncharacteristic of her. She later apologized. Of course I forgave her, and she modelled the biblical way to handle the situation when one has offended another. She didn’t mean to offend, but don’t we all sometimes find ourselves in that situation? How she handled it spoke volumes.
I’m reading a book Hope when it Hurts: Biblical reflections to help you grasp God’s purpose in your suffering (by Kristen Wetherell & Sarah Walton).
The book poses a question I think we can fear: “Can I, will I, trust God?” When the times get hard, will my faith fail? The book answers, Yes (we can trust God), because of who God is. There is sweet freedom in laying everything down. Our hopes, dreams, plans, health, past, present, and future. Not in defeated surrender, but in willing and humble submission, trusting His loving control and purpose over every aspect of our lives. After all, He has already proved that He holds nothing back in order to do what is best for us:
“He who did not spare His own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will He not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”
Romans 8:32
I’ve seen Debbie believe this and live it.
Debbie is my friend, my fellow Alberta laborer, counselor, prayer partner, and encourager. I love her and she has told me she loves me. I can’t wait for her to go to her reward! I can’t wait for her faith to be made sight! To be totally healed forever! To see Jesus face to face! Well done Debbie. You left much for us to emulate as you followed Christ. Who will carry the torch from here?
“It is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.”
Philippians 2:13-15
Thank you for being one of my stars in the sky Debbie! I’ve said my final earthy good-bye. I’m praying for your passage. I know it isn’t an easy journey, but you already have your “passport” (the blood of Jesus’ cleansing), and you’re about to embark on the real trip of your lifetime when you’ll fly to Jesus. I’ll see you again one day.
Love you, friend!
Holly Williams is the wife of Pastor Kevin Williams and mother of four children. They have ministered in Alberta at Meadowlands Baptist Church for over a decade.
