The Gospel Comes with a House Key: Powerful Portraits of Love for Our Neighbors

The Gospel Comes with a House Key: Practicing Radically Ordinary Hospitality in Our Post-Christian World by Rosaria Butterfield is a profoundly beautiful argument for how we should love our neighbors and connect with the people around us. Its beauty and power stem from Butterfield’s ability to weave theological truth with practical wisdom and real stories.

In fact, it forms a strong sequel to her first book, Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert, which details her conversion to Christ, a story that involves radically ordinary hospitality shown to her by a pastor and his wife. Her life was turned upside down by the gospel, bringing her spiritual rebirth while also demanding death to so many things that were a part of her former life.

The Gospel Comes with a House Key presents us with the next chapters of her life in Christ and, like her first book, challenges us to consider what may be unfamiliar perspectives on coming to Christ. As a former professor who espoused and advocated for LGBTQ lifestyle, she has much to say on sexual ethics, even in a book on biblical hospitality.

Many people point to this as the absolutely best book on biblical hospitality, probably because her story includes abundant generosity of time and resources, detailed practical advice, and clear examples of how perfect love casts out fear (1 Jn 4:18). Butterfield wants to inspire us to love people the way that God does, and she lives this out daily.

“Living out radically ordinary Christian hospitality means knowing that your relationship with others must be as strong as your words. The balance cannot tip here. Having strong words and a weak relationship with your neighbor is violent. It captures the violent carelessness of our social media-infused age. That is not how neighbors talk with each other. That is not how image bearers of the same God relate to one another. Radically ordinary hospitality values the time it takes to invest in relationships, to build bridges, to repent of sins of the past, to reconcile. Bridge building and remaking friendships cannot be rushed” (p. 35).

She is a gifted storyteller, and the principles she presents are couched in real stories of the people in her life, as well as honesty about her failings. I have never read a more challenging and comforting non-fiction book on how to love people as they really are. (My favorite fictional series—here—comes close, but true stories are always more compelling.)

Somehow, using only her own experiences, she is able to delve into all aspects of hospitality: connecting with neighbors, teaching children, caring for the needy, dealing with the reality of drug abuse, and helping those on their deathbeds, among others.

Her story will change you because it vividly reflects real life. She doesn’t paint sentimental images or tidy scenes. They are messy, sometimes traumatic, but always part of a bigger picture of how God is working in people’s lives. I was deeply inspired to view my street and relationships with new eyes.

She finds a way to be full of grace, realistic, and straightforward. This brings a relaxed, honest, and refreshing perspective to neighborly connections:

“We don’t worry about what the unbelieving neighbors think, because the unbelieving neighbors are right here sharing our table, and they are more than happy to tell us what they think” (p. 11).

If you wonder how she got to this point but don’t yet have time to sit down and read The Gospel Comes with a House Key, start with this presentation on one of the central stories from her book. It’s less than an hour long and summarizes many of the key concepts from the book.

This book will challenge your current view of neighbor relationships and inspire you to routinely open your home to connect with people and care for those in need. If you haven’t read Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert, put that on your list as well. Together, these books uplift us with the possibilities of what God can do in our lives and in the lives of those around us when we are willing to follow Him and welcome others the way that He has welcomed us.

Now, a side note about bones, for those still reading…

“Chew the meat, and spit out the bones” is an ancient and helpful admonition about information. For my family, this proverb has grown more vivid from our time in China, where meat (and even fish) is often served with the bones.

Sometimes bones need a warning. My youngest still struggles, so I remove some bones for him. At other times, bones are so obvious—like those in rotisserie chicken—that warnings would be silly and unnecessary.

Lately, a lot of people have a bone to pick with Rosaria Butterfield, and she has bones to pick with them. Her accusations toward some and name-calling of others may cause some of us to question what we should do with her writings.

Regardless of where you find yourself in the debate on her new direction, I believe that her first two books have a profound message we all need to hear: love your neighbor and bring the gospel to people in the context of real relationships.

Other people object to the nature of her daily life–it seems too open, unprotected, and radical. This is a bone that she herself points out.

“Kent and I practice daily hospitality as a way of life because we must. We remember what it is like to be lonely. We remember the odd contradiction: to be told on the Lord’s Day that you are part of the family of God but then to limp along throughout the rest of the week like an orphan begging bread” (p. 33).

“Radically ordinary hospitality is this: using your Christian home in a daily way that seeks to make strangers neighbors, and neighbors family of God. It brings glory to God, serves others, and lives out the gospel in word and deed. If you are prohibited from using your living space in this way, it counts if you support in some way some household in your church that is doing it” (p. 31).

“Kent and I use the marathon training model. The key to running a marathon is to value a slow and steady pace. When two people train for a marathon together, the slowest runner sets the pace. The same is true for husband-wife team hospitality: the pace is set by the one who feels the most frail. . . . If hospitality becomes a point of contention, something is wrong. Stop and reevaluate” (p. 31).

These statements may get lost in the powerful storytelling and compelling pictures of radical hospitality, but it is clear that she doesn’t view her household as the cookie-cutter pattern that we all need to fit into.

Pointing out these “bones” may be unnecessary for some, but helpful to others. We can be inspired by her example. We can praise God for her life in Christ and work for the church. And we can follow her example in whatever ways it truly follows Christ.

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“With the story of her conversion as a backdrop, Rosaria Butterfield invites us into her home to show us how God can use this same ‘radical, ordinary hospitality’ to bring the gospel to our lost friends and neighbors. Such hospitality sees our homes as not our own, but as God’s tools for the furtherance of his kingdom.” (Amazon description)

FInd it in canada (AMAZON)

find it in usa (AMAZON)

“In her late 30’s, Rosaria encountered something that turned her world upside down—the idea that Christianity, a religion she had regarded as problematic and sometimes downright damaging, might be right about who God was…. What follows is a story of what she describes as a train wreck at the hand of the supernatural. These are her secret thoughts about those events, written as only a reflective English professor could.” (Amazon description)